Thursday 22 November 2007
Boys, let’s shed those tears
There was a time when the macho man was simply irresistible. However, today, the sensitive man who can express his emotions and, sometimes, even break down and cry is considered an ideal man.
IT'S IN the books. It's in the movies. It's almost permanently etched in our psyche that boys don't cry. But give it a second thought and then think again. More often than not, men who cry are much happier and more satisfied than the stereotypical pretentious ‘macho man’.
As humans we all cry. Some show it, others don’t. But seldom do we question how, or why. Scientifically, tears flow from our eyes when we cry because they contain chemicals and hormones produced by our bodies. When we become upset, our brains and bodies overreact and work overtime and produce these hormones. Crying helps eliminate these chemicals that we don't need. That is why many people feel calmer or more refreshed after crying.
There are many culturally acceptable reasons to cry in society. One of the universally accepted reasons to shed tears is probably death. Grieving includes crying and it is believed that if someone does not cry, they will suffer physically because they did not release their pain. Experiences in life and love are other reasons society allows us to cry. Women have been allowed to cry more than men traditionally, but the benefits of crying seem to suggest that men need to cry as much if not more.
Crying is an important part of living a healthy and happy life. If we bottle up all our buried emotions, they tend to build up and get released in one go, which can result in a burnout, a breakdown, or a mental illness. So, boys, don’t be scared of showing your feelings – crying doesn't make you a lesser person or a lesser ‘man’.
There seems to be a gamut of opinions on the issue. According to Harsh Tilva, an IT professional, it's only a perception that boys don't cry. “I personally feel that boys should cry. I cry when I watch sad movies, I cry when I feel depressed; basically I cry a lot because I believe crying gives me emotional relief and makes me feel better.”
It may not easily come to us and it may even embarrass us afterwards, but some things really are worth crying over and we should just go with the flow. It can take courage to do this, so, paradoxically, it's the man in tears who's got the guts!
Mahesh Jain, a management student, says, “Most boys want to cry and need to cry but they are ashamed of what people may think. But I guess it’s high time we get out of that mindset and start expressing our feelings.”
While some boys may think it’s cool to cry, some girls disagree vehemently. “I don’t like to see boys crying because it doesn’t suit them. I believe they should be strong enough and not burst into tears over the slightest issue,” says Seeshma Hussain, a lawyer.
But do all girls feel the same? Sreemoyee Dutta, a communications student, would like to differ. She says, “I have absolutely no problem with boys crying. They go through the same emotions and feelings that we do; therefore they have got every reason to express themselves.”
Poonam Parekh, a media student, says, “Well, I think actually boys cry much more than girls do. Sadly, people only tend to think otherwise. And I have got no problem with their crying unless they overdo it, which they often do.”
Well, girls, here’s something you may be curious to know. The world is changing and so are we. And all you guys out there, the next time tears roll down your cheek and someone tells you, “Don’t be a girl”, remind them that we have come a long way from that cliché, “Boys don’t cry”!
Ayushman
(Published in Your Opinion, the monthly college newspaper produced by the students of Commits)
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